By Ashley Bailey
, Monday, June 01, 2009
Whiteflash.com wants you to be ready and properly educated for all situations, especially gifting. Summer wedding season is nigh, so here is our guide to wedding gifts. Here are our answers to all of your etiquette questions — tips for brides and grooms!
If you miss the wedding, do you still have to send a wedding gift?
If you get an invitation, you have to send a gift. Yes. This means that if you don’t know the bride, but she invites you to her shower, you need to send a gift (regardless of whether or not you attend and despite whether or not she knows your name).
Is sending money ever okay? How much?
The unspoken rule for giving cash is to essentially pay for your plates. For example, if you are at a wedding where you believe the reception rings in at $100 per head, and you were allowed to bring a date, you should give $200. That’s just a starting point — many other considerations should be made before you decide on a dollar amount:
- How close are you with the couple?
- Did they give you money at your wedding?
- Did you have to travel for the wedding (and therefore pay for a hotel, a rental car, plane tickets, etc.)?
Since you often shop for other people, you don’t always know the bride and groom.
Are there any safe bets for good wedding gifts — even for people you don’t know?
Safe bets for good wedding gifts are often consumable — something that can be used up and help create a experience for the couple long after the circus has left town. Everyone loves getting nice wine, tickets to a great show, gift certificates for fancy dinners, but if you want to give a tangible present, here are some of my favorite things to give and get:
In addition to those, I love Whiteflash’s selection of Wedding Jewelry Gifts.
What if a gift is particularly generous, and a thank you note doesn’t seem like enough?
Just plan to spend some time with the people who gave the gift. After all, they must have liked you enough to get you something wonderful — invite them over for a home-cooked meal from that platinum crock pot.
When it is okay to get a gift that’s not on the registry?
Buying off-registry is totally acceptable if you feel like you know the bride or groom well enough to give them something they will love. Registries were designed to give a newly married couple a little boost — a starter kit, if you will. While registering for gifts is very exciting (you get to point a gun at stuff!), many trigger-happy couples regret having to keep half of Bloomingdale’s in their storage units because their 700 sq ft apartment doesn’t have room for soft-boiled egg cups.
What’s a good example of an appropriate off-registry gift?
The key to success with a rogue gift (i.e. not on the registry) is having an alternative that you are sure the couple will love. I like to do personalized gift baskets with lots of little things that will make the recipient happy. Ten years ago, before sushi was in corner delis, I sent a friend a home sushi set because she loved sushi — I wrapped each individual piece as a gift and put them all in a big glass floor vase. She loved being able to open 35 little gifts.
When buying from the registry, what are ways to make the gift seem a little more personal
(we often find that personalization is the essence of luxury)?
Diamond Studs or Diamond Pendantsare always a safe bet.